Fic: I Volunteer
Apr. 6th, 2012 06:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jedi_of_urthTitle: I Volunteer
Author:jedi_of_urth / Tori Mc as was
Fandom: BtVS
Characters/Pairings: Buffy/Giles
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,508
Summary: Buffy catches Giles singing, with expected, smoocharific results; songfic
Disclaimer: BtVS never was mine, nor is the song “I Volunteer”
Author's Notes/Warnings (fic): Set after “The Body” though in a happier world than BtVS canon.
Author’s Notes (flashback): Probably written sometime during season 6, or shortly after, but I’m guessing. I never really did like songfics that much, but I did a few of them back in the day, like I’ve said, they were in at the time.
Buffy took a longer than normal patrol that night, not wanting to go home to the empty house since Dawn was visiting dad down in LA. Buffy had decided not to go since she had several important classes and a big test that week which happened to be Dawn's spring break, but now the house felt incredibly lonely with only her in it. At least Glory didn't seem any more likely to find Dawn in LA and Angel had promised to keep an eye out for trouble.
Buffy supposed she should be surprised that Giles' light was still on at two in the morning when she passed by his building, but she really wasn't and not only because she had stopped by at later times before. Figuring she wouldn't be turned away and if something important had come up she really ought to know about it, she decided to pay him a visit, ignoring the little voice inside her that said she was just doing it because she didn't want to go back to the empty house. It wasn't like her house was ever very welcoming at this time of night and Giles' always was.
She also ignored the little voice inside her that had much more naughty hopes for this time of night. She'd been slowly falling in love with him for what felt like forever, had in retrospect had inklings of it since she'd asked him to be her Watcher again, had first truly realized it when he had been the one, the only one, she had been willing to tell about Dawn but had only really realized it sometime between Riley leaving and Christmas. And now he was being so sweet and kind since her mother had died, helping Buffy adjust to her role as head of the family while she tried to remain college student and Slayer all at once; he was so good, so perfect, that she wondered how it could possibly have taken her so long to really see it. But she knew she would have to resign herself to the idea that they would never be together, he wouldn't look at her that way.
She opened the door quietly not wanting to disturb him right away if he was in the middle of important reading, particularly if it would help Dawn. She sneaked in so quietly he didn't even hear her from his seat on the couch, his back to the door, leaning on his guitar, though Buffy couldn't see that from her perspective. "So it comes back to that again," he was saying to himself. "How many times do I have to say that before I believe it? So much as this is better than before, it's also worse in some ways. Now you see me, but not my heart, not the way I wish you would."
He grew quiet and began strumming absently on the guitar, a slow, sweet yet haunting melody while Buffy wondered who or what he was talking about, until he seemed to find the chord he was looking for and chuckled. "Yeah, that's the song isn't it? What I was born to do; and what I would do again if someone gave me the choice." Then he began singing.
'You look like you're feeling like
The rain won't ever stop
Life has left you standing there
One against the odds'
Did she even dare hope he meant her? Because those words did fit her life well, all too well. Her world was one of rain all too often and her destiny had been that she had been born to be the one against the odds, one girl in all the world yadda yadda yadda.
'From now on you need to know
You don't have to stand alone'
If it was about her that was certainly true, she hadn't really stood alone since the day she met him, he had always been at her side even when she had tried to turn her back on that side. But she schooled her heart against believing that he meant her, she didn't get lucky like this.
'When the world turns you in circles
And the wind is at your face
When you need somewhere to run to
I know the place
If you want someone who's willing
To lay down their heart
Someone to dry your tears
I'm here
I volunteer'
Whoever he meant was lucky, she knew what his devotion drove him to. Stabbing an invincible enemy, willing to defy prophecy and die in her place, put up with her in general. Add love to that sort of devotion and could it be more perfect? Yes, whoever he loved had better deserve that devotion, she sure hadn't.
'A shoulder a caring voice
To tell you it's okay
Two arms meant to shelter you
If ever you're afraid
I've got that and more to spare
Just say the word and I'll be there'
His tone was so sad, and full of longing she wanted nothing more than to comfort him, even if it was for the love of another. But still a part of her cried that it had to be for her, he could not have a song that fit them so perfectly be for another woman. This was how he acted with her, not anyone else, and damn whoever else it was for taking the place in her Watcher's heart that should have been hers, for all she had wasted her stay in said heart.
'When the world turns you in circles
And the wind is at your face
When you need somewhere to run to
I know the place
If you want someone who's willing
To lay down their heart
Someone to dry your tears
I'm here
I volunteer'
She knew she should go, the song had to be nearly over and somehow she knew he would notice she was there as soon as he broke the spell his song had cast over the apartment, but she was rooted to the spot by a similar power that kept her from going to his side, she had to know where this might lead.
'If you want someone who's willing
To lay down their heart from now throughout the years
I'm here
I volunteer'
The melody continued for a few more notes and then died away. Giles sighed again and hunched back over his guitar. "I volunteer my heart to you my love," he said softly. A few more moments of silence followed in which Buffy wished for some way to either run or speak, but found none. Finally he moved to put his guitar away and in doing so turned and saw her standing in his doorway.
They just stared at each other for a moment as he rose to his feet, not breaking eye contact. Buffy decided to try and play it cool and shrugged. "You're pretty good," she said. Her voice fell flat so she took another route. "Guess I should have gone to watch you when you used to sing at the Espresso Pump."
"Buffy," he said softly, not sure how much she had heard, and even less sure of how much she had understood and uncertain how much he wanted her to have understood.
"It's a pretty song," she said absently, not sure what response she expected to get to that. Where had their unspoken communication gotten to at a time like this when it was really needed?
He fixed her in his gaze, deciding it was now or never and he could not choose never. "I meant every word."
Buffy raised her eyes to meet his again; not truly having realized she had dropped her gaze in her ramblings. "Me?" She asked, her voice thick with emotion.
Giles nodded slowly, not sure how to interpret her tone and trying to form a coherent follow up sentence when he was knocked back onto the couch by his possibly flying Slayer who was attacking his face with kisses. He allowed himself the guilty pleasure of enjoying the sensation for a few moments before pushing her away slightly. "You...?" He asked, still not certain of what he was asking.
"Love you," she said trying to capture his lips with her own, but he turned away.
"Since when?" He made himself ask.
"Since forever," she said, looking into his beautiful, love filled eyes. "Since I was blind and stupid and tried to love other boys too. Since I didn't have to realize it's you and me forever, and unless I've lost all ability to understand you, I think you as much as said the same a few minutes ago. Now shut up and kiss me."
He grinned and began to pull her close. "We will have to talk about this you know."
"Talk later, kissing now," she commanded.
This time he put up no resistance to her initiative, and responded with a new vigor of his own. At one point between kisses Buffy was sure she heard him mutter, "Now for that I gladly volunteer."
Author:
jedi_of_urth / Tori Mc as wasFandom: BtVS
Characters/Pairings: Buffy/Giles
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,508
Summary: Buffy catches Giles singing, with expected, smoocharific results; songfic
Disclaimer: BtVS never was mine, nor is the song “I Volunteer”
Author's Notes/Warnings (fic): Set after “The Body” though in a happier world than BtVS canon.
Author’s Notes (flashback): Probably written sometime during season 6, or shortly after, but I’m guessing. I never really did like songfics that much, but I did a few of them back in the day, like I’ve said, they were in at the time.
Buffy took a longer than normal patrol that night, not wanting to go home to the empty house since Dawn was visiting dad down in LA. Buffy had decided not to go since she had several important classes and a big test that week which happened to be Dawn's spring break, but now the house felt incredibly lonely with only her in it. At least Glory didn't seem any more likely to find Dawn in LA and Angel had promised to keep an eye out for trouble.
Buffy supposed she should be surprised that Giles' light was still on at two in the morning when she passed by his building, but she really wasn't and not only because she had stopped by at later times before. Figuring she wouldn't be turned away and if something important had come up she really ought to know about it, she decided to pay him a visit, ignoring the little voice inside her that said she was just doing it because she didn't want to go back to the empty house. It wasn't like her house was ever very welcoming at this time of night and Giles' always was.
She also ignored the little voice inside her that had much more naughty hopes for this time of night. She'd been slowly falling in love with him for what felt like forever, had in retrospect had inklings of it since she'd asked him to be her Watcher again, had first truly realized it when he had been the one, the only one, she had been willing to tell about Dawn but had only really realized it sometime between Riley leaving and Christmas. And now he was being so sweet and kind since her mother had died, helping Buffy adjust to her role as head of the family while she tried to remain college student and Slayer all at once; he was so good, so perfect, that she wondered how it could possibly have taken her so long to really see it. But she knew she would have to resign herself to the idea that they would never be together, he wouldn't look at her that way.
She opened the door quietly not wanting to disturb him right away if he was in the middle of important reading, particularly if it would help Dawn. She sneaked in so quietly he didn't even hear her from his seat on the couch, his back to the door, leaning on his guitar, though Buffy couldn't see that from her perspective. "So it comes back to that again," he was saying to himself. "How many times do I have to say that before I believe it? So much as this is better than before, it's also worse in some ways. Now you see me, but not my heart, not the way I wish you would."
He grew quiet and began strumming absently on the guitar, a slow, sweet yet haunting melody while Buffy wondered who or what he was talking about, until he seemed to find the chord he was looking for and chuckled. "Yeah, that's the song isn't it? What I was born to do; and what I would do again if someone gave me the choice." Then he began singing.
'You look like you're feeling like
The rain won't ever stop
Life has left you standing there
One against the odds'
Did she even dare hope he meant her? Because those words did fit her life well, all too well. Her world was one of rain all too often and her destiny had been that she had been born to be the one against the odds, one girl in all the world yadda yadda yadda.
'From now on you need to know
You don't have to stand alone'
If it was about her that was certainly true, she hadn't really stood alone since the day she met him, he had always been at her side even when she had tried to turn her back on that side. But she schooled her heart against believing that he meant her, she didn't get lucky like this.
'When the world turns you in circles
And the wind is at your face
When you need somewhere to run to
I know the place
If you want someone who's willing
To lay down their heart
Someone to dry your tears
I'm here
I volunteer'
Whoever he meant was lucky, she knew what his devotion drove him to. Stabbing an invincible enemy, willing to defy prophecy and die in her place, put up with her in general. Add love to that sort of devotion and could it be more perfect? Yes, whoever he loved had better deserve that devotion, she sure hadn't.
'A shoulder a caring voice
To tell you it's okay
Two arms meant to shelter you
If ever you're afraid
I've got that and more to spare
Just say the word and I'll be there'
His tone was so sad, and full of longing she wanted nothing more than to comfort him, even if it was for the love of another. But still a part of her cried that it had to be for her, he could not have a song that fit them so perfectly be for another woman. This was how he acted with her, not anyone else, and damn whoever else it was for taking the place in her Watcher's heart that should have been hers, for all she had wasted her stay in said heart.
'When the world turns you in circles
And the wind is at your face
When you need somewhere to run to
I know the place
If you want someone who's willing
To lay down their heart
Someone to dry your tears
I'm here
I volunteer'
She knew she should go, the song had to be nearly over and somehow she knew he would notice she was there as soon as he broke the spell his song had cast over the apartment, but she was rooted to the spot by a similar power that kept her from going to his side, she had to know where this might lead.
'If you want someone who's willing
To lay down their heart from now throughout the years
I'm here
I volunteer'
The melody continued for a few more notes and then died away. Giles sighed again and hunched back over his guitar. "I volunteer my heart to you my love," he said softly. A few more moments of silence followed in which Buffy wished for some way to either run or speak, but found none. Finally he moved to put his guitar away and in doing so turned and saw her standing in his doorway.
They just stared at each other for a moment as he rose to his feet, not breaking eye contact. Buffy decided to try and play it cool and shrugged. "You're pretty good," she said. Her voice fell flat so she took another route. "Guess I should have gone to watch you when you used to sing at the Espresso Pump."
"Buffy," he said softly, not sure how much she had heard, and even less sure of how much she had understood and uncertain how much he wanted her to have understood.
"It's a pretty song," she said absently, not sure what response she expected to get to that. Where had their unspoken communication gotten to at a time like this when it was really needed?
He fixed her in his gaze, deciding it was now or never and he could not choose never. "I meant every word."
Buffy raised her eyes to meet his again; not truly having realized she had dropped her gaze in her ramblings. "Me?" She asked, her voice thick with emotion.
Giles nodded slowly, not sure how to interpret her tone and trying to form a coherent follow up sentence when he was knocked back onto the couch by his possibly flying Slayer who was attacking his face with kisses. He allowed himself the guilty pleasure of enjoying the sensation for a few moments before pushing her away slightly. "You...?" He asked, still not certain of what he was asking.
"Love you," she said trying to capture his lips with her own, but he turned away.
"Since when?" He made himself ask.
"Since forever," she said, looking into his beautiful, love filled eyes. "Since I was blind and stupid and tried to love other boys too. Since I didn't have to realize it's you and me forever, and unless I've lost all ability to understand you, I think you as much as said the same a few minutes ago. Now shut up and kiss me."
He grinned and began to pull her close. "We will have to talk about this you know."
"Talk later, kissing now," she commanded.
This time he put up no resistance to her initiative, and responded with a new vigor of his own. At one point between kisses Buffy was sure she heard him mutter, "Now for that I gladly volunteer."
