More JE thoughts

[jedi_of_urth]

It hasn't even been a week yet, I'm allowed to still be dwelling on this.

Everyone seems to have their own opinion on Ten II, which makes sense considering it really threw a lot of us for a loop and didn't really have time with canon to get used to it. But for my sake I *have* to believe Ten II is 99% the same as the Doctor, has all the memories, feelings, desires, etc. because...because if he's not the same man then I'm mad at everyone, with him being so the end HURTS me, but I don't know who to be mad at (well, RTD), and I like that sort of conflicted feeling better than hating at the show.

But I've started having some weird thoughts about Ten II, like maybe the fact that he's able to take this step and be this man he wants to be, with Rose and family, and a real life is because his 'story' came full circle. The Doctor as we know him was born out of the end of the Time War, it doesn't matter if it was Eight or Nine who pressed the button, that's the event that made him the man we know, the man Rose has known, the man haunted by the loss of his people and his genocide of them and the Daleks.

But now, Ten II has finally done what Ten I never has, ended the Time War (for how long this time?) without losing part of himself in the process. The pre-series end to the Time War had tragic consequences, and the Doomsday end lost Rose and left him heartbroken anew. In the middle, Rose wiped them out, but the Doctor didn't get to 'end' the Time War himself that time. But now Ten II has pressed the button to do that again and...this time no one else died, he's still here, he was new life born out of the Time War rather than just destruction. Wiping out the Daleks, for once, didn't destroy his world.

Of course, this makes things even worse for Ten I, because stopping the Daleks really did destroy his world again, his own self lie that he wouldn't do it again, taking Donna and Rose away from him as part of what happened (he believed Rose would be happier with Ten II, and Ten II was a creation of ending the War this time).

A little cathartic-genocide, who would have thought, and the Doctor (Ten II version) is ready to settle down, build a life and a future with the woman he loves. And Ten I, who still wants that with all his hearts, doesn't believe he can, because he's still going round and round in the story.