It is hilarious how everyone seems to forget that Elijah exists when he's not in Mystic Falls. If they're not in the episode, they're not relevant. Actually even in this episode he wasn't relevant, but there you go.

I think Stefan's reasons are very much about what Stefan wants. Both brothers are projecting their ideal image of what they want Elena to be on to her. Stefan's finding it harder to deal with vampire Elena because he really wants the whole white picket fence deal. Or something, idk.