jedi_of_urth: (elena)
[personal profile] jedi_of_urth
Title: To Take Each Step In Turn
Author: [personal profile] jedi_of_urth
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Characters/Pairings: Ensemble, Elena/Elijah, various canon ships referenced
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Past character death and related issues, violence on par with the show, sexualized abuse
Word Count: ~34,500
Summary: Part three of ‘To Find a Light In Darkness’, Elena and Elijah’s break from the world comes to an abrupt end courtesy of the Salvatores, but at least it wasn’t Klaus...
Author's Notes: Great thanks to my always awesome beta, and thanks to those who have waited and encouraged me to continue this series. Hopefully the next one won’t take as long.

To Find a Light In Darkness series master post

To Take Each Step In Turn story master post

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter


For a time, Elena put other thoughts out of her mind and focused on how she couldn’t stop touching Elijah; her hands roamed freely over his torso, shoulders, neck, even around to what she could reach of his back. She’d worked his suit jacket and shirt off his shoulders, although she left his tie in place around his neck as she liked to play with it to tease him. She drank in the obvious signs of encouragement he gave her, his gasps and low moans of passion were music to her ears; but she tried to pay just as much attention to the subtle shifts of his skin and muscles in response to certain touches. Just as she had learned to speak fluent Elijah when it came to understanding his careful wording and seeing the subtle expressions of emotion that others missed in him, she wanted to read his body’s reactions in this new way.

While Elijah’s body clearly responded to her attentions, with heated eager kisses and panting breaths of pleasure, not to mention the erection she could feel against her thigh, he made little move to touch her in return. His hands glided slightly over her back and occasionally gripped her more tightly in response to her actions, but always on the outside of her clothes. “I’m not going to break,” she told him between kisses. “You don’t have to treat me like I’m made of glass.”

“I’m more worried you’ll fall over,” he replied with a gentle chuckle. “You seem precariously balanced.”

“Is that all?” she joked and hopped off his lap with another long run of her hand down the dark red silk of his tie. She pushed him back when he sat forward as if to follow her and she sat back down, straddling him this time rather than sitting across his lap. Her knees pressed between his thighs and the soft sides of the chair, it was a large enough chair to accommodate both of them, but it wasn’t a roomy fit. “Better?”

His hands rubbed slowly up her thighs and back down before he answered. “I believe so.”

She leaned forward to kiss him again and her hand pressed into his chest. She could feel his heart pounding, strong and fast now as his body had come alive under her touch. Not for the first time Elena was confronted with the difference between the popular beliefs about vampires and the truth she’d come to know. They were cool to the touch normally but far from cold, and a stimulant as mild as caffeine was enough to disguise their normal coolness; and when their blood got going for other reasons they were quite as warm as any human. It was part of how the urge to hunt and feed got tied to every other strong emotion, as it was hard for some to separate the reasons their bodies reacted wildly.

Sex was definitely something that heated up their bodies, and Elijah was definitely warm under her now. Yet his hands were still controlled; he continued to stroke up and down her thighs, each pass went a little higher until he reached the hem of her shirt where he stalled, playing with the seam as he considered his next path.

Elena smiled and sat back on his knees, it was a little off balance but his hands at her hips let her know he wouldn’t let her fall. Her own hands drew down his chest and across the planes of his abdomen aimed to end up at the clasp of his trousers. “Now which one of us is being impatient?” he said breathily as she released the top button of his fly.

“Are you complaining? Or, should I go more slowly?” she said as she began to slowly lower the zipper his dress pants.

She had the zip about halfway down when he moaned and ever so slightly thrust into her palm. Elena finished unzipping him then removed her hand again. “Elena,” he half-groaned at the loss of contact. “Elena,” he started again slightly more coherently, “would you let me take you to bed?” His tone was a little bit exasperated, a little bit pleading, and a lot lustful. He obviously enjoyed what she was doing to him, but he wanted to move this to where he’d be more active.

Elena braced her arms on either side of his head, which was now lulled back onto the soft back of the chair. She liked having him entirely pinned under her, even if she logically knew he could have taken as much control as he wanted; he was letting her be in the dominant position and she wondered how far she could push it – push him – before that changed. “I’ll make it worth your while,” she said, recalling his words from last night just before he went down on her. Not that she had a blow job in mind, maybe some other time (there she was again, planning on there being other times), but she didn’t need to move anywhere else.

She kept herself propped so she was slightly looking down at him with one hand while the other again slowly wound its way down his body. “Elena?” he asked, his voice perched on the edge of control as he questioned her.

“Yes, Elijah?” she asked lustily as her fingers played with the trail of hair low on his stomach that lead towards her goal.

His hands eased upward, past the hem of her shirt, finally under it so his hands were on her own heated skin. Elena’s smile grew as she briefly sat back long enough to strip off her top. She let it fall at his feet, where she’d deposited the clothes she’d removed from him several minutes ago. “Yes, Elijah?” she repeated with a slightly raised eyebrow.

“Yes,” he replied. His hands inched upward some more, the tips of his fingers rubbing and probing lightly at the new expanse of skin he was allowed to explore. For a moment Elena relaxed into his touch, she did love to feel of his hands on her body, before she returned her hands to their former positions.

His eyes looked up hungrily into hers as she traced the shape of his erection through his boxers and she leaned down to capture his mouth with her own again. They traded deep, nearly frenzied kisses until she walked her hand up and under the waistband of his underwear. Those sharp teeth of his pressed down on her bottom lip drawing it into his mouth as she wrapped her fingers around his cock.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, Elena felt like she was in control. Even while her actions were almost out of control, they were her own; she simply gave herself over to the intensity of her experience with Elijah. She was in command of her own choices, and she chose this; not worrying about what others thought or expected, she reveled in quiet freedom and passion for the man underneath her body.

Elijah’s hands had risen further, palming her breasts through her bra as she pumped her hand up and down his shaft. Elena’s breathing was raspy while Elijah’s was heavy, their heated breath mingled between hungry kisses to each other’s skin. Their bodies instinctively pressed into each other’s touch and Elena caught herself starting to rub herself against Elijah’s leg. She paused for a moment to collect herself, she didn’t intend to lose her control yet.

“Don’t stop,” Elijah breathed.

“Me or you?” she asked coyly. She’d stopped stoking him only for a few seconds, but he sounded almost desperate for her to continue.

“Either,” he practically hissed as she ran a finger around the head of his cock.

One of his hands left her breast and quickly moved downward, trailing his fingers down her belly towards the closure of her pants. She gently swatted his hands away before he got there though. “Not yet,” she admonished him. His hand moved to her side, he gripped firmly at her hip while the other hand continued to tease a covered pert nipple.

A few more strokes top to base and he erupted into her hand. His eyes squeezed closed as his head pushed back into the back of the chair, while his hands still desperately worked over her body. It was as close to truly losing control as she’d ever seen him, and she liked it. She liked that he was holding back less and less from her; that he didn’t feel like he always had to be in control when it came to her.

She certainly didn’t think she always had to be in control with him, she just wanted to be for now. She didn’t want to think about why it was so important to her at the moment; she just wanted to enjoy it.

Elijah opened his eyes and looked up into hers as Elena removed her hand from his underwear. Lust sated for the moment, his expression was softer; more full of that emotion she could almost consider love if she didn’t know that it wasn’t. It wasn’t far removed from that emotion, but for all their relationship had changed so quickly she still didn’t think it should be called love yet – if it ever could be.

This feeling of something like love that wasn’t, was enough for now – for both of them. She wasn’t anywhere near done feeling it yet, she intended to keep it going, but being even more could wait.

His hand left her breast and came to cup her cheek again, and she leaned into his touch. “What are you thinking now?” he asked softly.

A fresh, soft smile spread across her lips. He couldn’t have known her thoughts, but he could have sensed that they were about him – about them – and where they were going. “About what I want,” she replied.

“And what’s that?” he asked, his voice still barely above a whisper.

She brought her hand, still sticky with his juices, to hold his face in her hand. “I want you to know this matters to me, that we matter. Understand that I don’t regret any or it and I’m not going to. I want you to respect that I need time to work out what I want in the future; but know that right now, I want you. Specifically,” she added letting her tone and smile turn coy, “I want you upstairs and naked.”

“I do know,” he said, lifting one finger. “I understand,” he said, counting off the second point. “I can respect that,” he assured her with a nod. “And,” he said standing them both up, “I’m happy to see to that.”

He extended a hand to her, and she interlaced her fingers with his. Another thing she could add to the list of ways he surprised her, she would never have taken Elijah for a hand-holder no matter how tactile he was with his surroundings. Not, she cautioned herself to remember, that this was proof he’d normally want to hold hands; leading her to his bedroom may be a special case.

Part of the living room and the stairway were topped with a large skylight that was dark and clouded now, and poorly lit because it was nighttime. The upstairs hallway landing had four doors currently closed off and Elijah lead her to the farthest one and ushered her inside. He turned a light switch on, but it only activated a pair of small bedside lamps – providing the perfect amount of light as far as Elena was concerned, soft enough to be intimate but light enough to see each other clearly.

Where the bedroom at Klaus’s mansion was large but lacked character, this was cozy but had traces of personality. Far from the enormous, luxurious bed they’d shared last night, this was a standard sized queen bed with few pillows or adornments. The walls were sparsely decorated, but still more so than the undecorated walls in the mansion, with images of natural wilderness and vast terrain. The closet door was open and she could see Elijah still had several suit pieces hanging there. The place may be far from homey, but it didn’t feel empty.

As she took in the room at large, Elena’s gaze came back to Elijah watching her take in their surroundings. “I like it here,” she told him, accompanied by a squeeze of her hand on his.

She hadn’t consciously realized his expression had been tense until it relaxed at her words. “I’m happy to hear that.”

Elena released his hand and stepped towards him, running her hands over his bare shoulders as she pulled him in for a kiss. The kiss wasn’t frenzied or desperate, but it was full of promise and their nearly bare torsos pressed together made the promise of what was to come all the clearer. One of his hands found its way to the catch of her bra, but he left it there until their kiss ended. “Which of us did you want to be naked first?” he asked, his voice deep but patient. He could afford to be patient, vampires may not need much in the way of recovery time, but it would take a few minutes before he was ready to go again.

“You of course,” she said wickedly and quickly dropped her hands to take hold of the waistband of his pants and underwear and pulled them down. Between them they quickly had him stripped of everything, leaving him standing bare before her hungrily roaming eyes.

“I’m still wearing this tie,” he reminded her. “But I’m not sure that counts as clothes.”

Elena threaded her fingers around the knot of his tie again, it made a handy strap to pull him close to her, not that he needed much encouragement. But that wasn’t the main reason she left it on him. “I want you leave it on, so when I can’t say in front of the others that I want to be alone with you, I can say ‘Nice tie Elijah’ and you’ll know.”

“An excellent act of subterfuge,” Elijah said, his voice a low rumble that continued to stir her desire for him. “And what should I say in response?”

“You’ll think of something.”

As they kissed again she backed him towards the bed until the backs of his knees connected with the mattress, and after breaking the kiss a gentle further push had him seated with her standing between his spread legs. “Now,” she told him simply with a nod.

Elijah leaned forward a began pressing a series of light kisses to her stomach; lower and lower until he was bent forward to take the waist of her pants between his teeth. Elena’s breathing hitched slightly as he used his teeth and lips to undo the series of three small buttons that closed the front of her pants. He sat back up after the task was done and used his hands to help strip her clothes off her legs.

Elena stepped back from him as she escaped her clothing, and reached behind her back to undo the clasp of her bra at last. She kept it and her arms covering her breasts for a few moments longer than necessary to tease Elijah with their appearance. When she did, he let out a sigh of pleasure at the sight of her baring herself to him. A quick glance across his naked (except for the tie) body told her that while he wasn’t quite standing at attention again just yet, he was definitely stirring back to alertness. It wasn’t going to take long at all to have him right where she wanted him.

Right where she wanted him.

Elena hesitated, faltered as she intended to step back into his arms. “Elijah?” she asked suddenly awkward. “Do you think I’m just using you?”

“Certainly not,” he quickly assured her.

Elena was relieved at his quick response, but wasn’t quite reassured. “I’m not usually this aggressive, and maybe it’s kind of because of...what happened earlier,” she didn’t want to mention Klaus while she was aiming at having sex with Elijah. “And maybe I just want to feel something good,” she also didn’t want to mention any of their other problems in this situation. “It’s not just that but you’d tell me if it felt like I was doing something wrong?”

“There’s no shame in that, Elena,” he said gently. “You have done nothing wrong, and nothing that I haven’t enjoyed greatly.”

“But you’d tell me if you thought it felt wrong?”

“Does it feel wrong?” he asked.

“No,” she replied.

She looked hard at him until he responded again. “It feels very right,” he told her. He reached out for her arm and pulled her towards him again, although he didn’t return to kissing her right away. “Do you want to continue as we were, or would you be more comfortable with another approach?”

Elena shook her head, the mood was effectively diminished, but it wasn’t dead. She ran her hand up his tie again and followed it back until her arm was looped around his neck. She stepped fully into the V of his legs, and wrapped both arms around him and felt his settle against her naked hips once more. “I want to,” she breathed. “I want to,” she repeated as she pressed his face into her cleavage. He didn’t need any more encouragement to put that talented mouth of his to work on her breasts, and he didn’t seem to mind at all that she had directed him there.

“Show me what you want,” he said, licking long and slow between her breasts where she had placed his mouth. She kept his head in her hands and gradually directed him towards her right breast until he was in position to lap and nip at a nipple, which he did with all the fervor he had displayed the night before. “Show me where to touch you,” he added as he paused to breathe across her sensitive, tightened flesh.

Oh God, did Elena like being in control like this. She might not like it all the time, but right now it was just what she needed. She pressed her hand down his arm to take hold of his wrist and guide his hand to the other side of her chest. She guided him to cup her breast and he kneaded at the soft underside while his mouth continued to work on the other one.

Elena could only remember one time she had orgasmed just from having her breasts touched, but she was close to experiencing it again. She brought his other hand up to replace his mouth so she could kiss him again while guiding both hands to touch her. After another long, anything but languid kiss, she pressed him back into the bed until she could straddle his prone form. He was definitely ready for her now; and her hot, wet core was more than ready for him, but she wasn’t quite prepared yet. As much as she felt like she could grind their bodies together in a need to be one with him, something was stopping her from taking his pulsing, living cock inside her.


“Yes, Elena,” he said, the syllables of her name slurring slightly as they left his mouth, a sure sign that he wasn’t as in control as he appeared.

“Talk to me,” she asked him. “Tell me...tell me I’m not alone.” She hadn’t realized that was going to be her request until the words left her mouth, but it was what she needed. She needed him and his words to comfort something in her that needed to be comforted.

“You,” he kissed his way up her arm, “are...not...alone. I will stand beside you for as long as you will have me there.” After that he took control for a moment and pulled her mouth back to his. “And I will share you bed as long as you will have me there,” he said more lightly.

That emotion that wasn’t quite love but was about the nearest thing to it without actually being it welled up inside Elena as she desperately kissed him back. Thankfully she didn’t tear up with it this time, but this time when she pulled away from the kiss she shifted back and guided him inside her waiting channel.

She knew it wasn’t going to take her long even before he was fully inside her, once she had him fully enveloped she was almost ready to let loose right now. A couple small thrusts and she was breathing heavily, on the edge of control and reason. “Talk to me,” she told him again, and he didn’t need direction to return his hands to her hips to steady her.

“Elena,” the syllables were back, but they were said slowly, the way that would madden her if she wasn’t already fucking him. “Dear, lovely Elena,” he continued as she kept thrusting him in and out of her body (the last syllable of her name was more of a gasp as she started to clench around him). “I’m here, Elena, right here.”

Elena fingernails squeezed into his shoulders; if it caused him any pain he didn’t say or do anything to discourage her. She was panting each breath as she rode him with abandon; out of control and completely in control all at once and she was so close...

“I’m with you – always...and...forever,” his words were separated and emphasized with moans of desire.

Elena’s inner walls closed tightly around him, her fingernails bit into his arms, her body rode out waves of glorious pleasure as his words resounded him her mind and her heart. Always and forever; he promised that so freely but she knew it wasn’t lightly said for him. Always and forever; those words that meant more than even the eternity they spoke of. Always and forever; something like love that couldn’t quite be called that.

Her eyes focused on his face, and he watched her intensely. His expression was one of wonderment and rapture, as if watching her as she came was the most amazing sight he had ever seen.

He was still hard inside her as she came back to herself, but his breathing was as heavy and ragged as hers. She loosened her grip on his arms and brought a hand up to the side of his face and looked deep into his dark eyes. Her mouth opened and closed a couple times, but she realized she still didn’t have the words so she just stroked the line of his jaw and tried to say it without words.

Whether it got through or not, this time Elijah bypassed returning the gesture and his hand went behind her head to pull her moth down to his. His hips rolled up, thrusting deeper into her as his tongue swept into her mouth. She played her tongue along his as she clenched her thighs and inner walls around him, pulling him as deep inside her as possible.

He moaned a deep pleasured moan that pulled their mouths apart as he thrust into her again. “I’m with you,” Elena found herself saying, but she couldn’t add the always and forever the way he did.

“Elena,” he sighed, his hand slipping down into it’s now familiar position on her cheek, it’s gentleness resting there somewhat in contrast with his otherwise hungrily desirous behavior.

“I’m here,” she told him, falling into rhythm with his thrusts. “You’re not alone.” It slipped out without thinking, she’d never consciously considered him a lonely person, but it was starting to seem that maybe he was.

A few more thrusts that she matched and he found his release. Elena watched him as he did, and she maybe understood the way he had watched her. She knew this moment would stay in her memory, the way he looked in lamplight of his bedroom. Now that they were sleeping together it was a lot easier to admit to herself that she found him attractive, more or less always had in a distant sort of way, but attractive wasn’t enough of a word for what he was now. His eyes were open and dark and full of desire, the muscles of his face slack and revealing, his lips parted and full and formed into a slight O. He was beautiful, gloriously so as far as she was concerned.

Elena placed a hand over his heart, feeling its quickened beat under her palm. They stayed like that for a few moments before his eyes refocused on her face. The slightly rough pad of his thumb stroked her cheek before his arm dropped so both arms could wrap around her and comfortably roll them to the side. He slipped his softened cock out of her as he shifted them towards the pillows at the head of the bed and Elena sighed slightly at the now empty space between her legs.

Elena smiled at him and he smiled back, they were both just happy for the moment. According the tall bedside clock behind Elijah it was still barely 10:30, meaning it was still not quite a day since he’d silently sneaked into her bedroom with unclear intentions and uneasy motivations. It certainly hadn’t all been a good day for either of them, the good may not even outweigh the bad, but they had found their way together. And Elena could believe that if they could keep finding their way together then things really would get better.

Elena held tight to that feeling as she pulled Elijah close to her. Things could get better, not just because they could hardly get worse but she actually believed things could get better. It was good to have even that much hope again but she wasn’t quite sure the feeling would last. One step at a time, she supposed.

They lay together for a little while, both of them content to stay in easy, contented silence as they held each other loosely. The smile that grew on Elena’s lips was genuinely happy in spite of all the trouble still in her life. “If you’re planning to ask if I want to stay over, the answer’s yes,” she eventually broke the silence by saying; she had no desire to leave and every desire to stay.

“I suppose I didn’t say anything about when I would return you home safely,” he replied humorously. “I can wake you with plenty of time to get you home without being missed.”

“Who said anything about sleeping?” she teased. Elena sat up and scooted back to sit against the short wooden headboard. Suddenly feeling that a little modesty wouldn’t be a bad idea, she pulled the pillow to cover herself somewhat.

Elijah looked at her with surprise for a moment before sitting up with her. “And what else are you intending?” he asked, his tone questioning – not quite innocently so by any means – while his expression was still seductive.

“Plenty of things,” she answered with a sly smile. Oh, how she intended to do plenty of things with him tonight, just not at the moment. He settled an arm around her shoulders so she could lean into his side. “But for right now we still have things to talk about.”

He was still wearing his tie and only his tie, but he didn’t seem very concerned about covering himself. “Like what?” he asked softly.

“Like the truth about what you’re planning. And if you really don’t know, I want to be here to help you figure it out.” When he didn’t say anything to answer her she reached out for his hand and took it in hers. “I just said I’m with you, remember?”

He smiled more softly and nodded as he squeezed her hand briefly. “Partners it is.”


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October 2013

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